We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
