So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
