It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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