We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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