You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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