hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
