And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
