i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
