what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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