Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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