Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
