One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
