Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize