Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
