You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
