Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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