...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you inspire me to be a worse person
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
