theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
