i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
