It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
