last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
