stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
