Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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