Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
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What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
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