I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS