Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?

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  (616): Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma? http://tfl.nu/rtd3
  Replies (4) Good night (526) Bad night (2493)
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  (323): View more from California

  rhymes with "ouble enetration"

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  (323): rhymes with "ouble enetration" http://tfl.nu/bg50
  Replies (33) Good night (3979) Bad night (729)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin

  (253): View more from Washington

  was*

  (509): View more from Washington

  True, R.I.P.

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  (509): Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin (253): was* (509): True, R.I.P. http://tfl.nu/u2pm
  Replies (19) Good night (1120) Bad night (2372)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.

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  (646): Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister. http://tfl.nu/1b2r
  Replies (15) Good night (591) Bad night (4057)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,

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  (214): Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking, http://tfl.nu/jftc
  Replies (6) Good night (3380) Bad night (712)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.

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  (505): i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to. http://tfl.nu/elff
  Replies (3) Good night (2622) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach

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  (506): Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach http://tfl.nu/g758
  Replies (14) Good night (802) Bad night (6793)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.

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  (360): It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that. http://tfl.nu/4zse
  Replies (14) Good night (2911) Bad night (1687)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.

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  (775): If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you. http://tfl.nu/tyav
  Replies (4) Good night (1566) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.

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  (410): Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips. http://tfl.nu/4phy
  Replies (2) Good night (1933) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment

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  (775): At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment http://tfl.nu/1isz
  Replies (5) Good night (822) Bad night (316)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.

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  (480): I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified. http://tfl.nu/m5g1
  Replies (2) Good night (313) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?

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  (903): How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing? http://tfl.nu/tt7s
  Replies (3) Good night (540) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea

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  (609): I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea http://tfl.nu/yi5k
  Replies (2) Good night (336) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?

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  (804): Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed? http://tfl.nu/h0fu
  Replies (8) Good night (643) Bad night (194)

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