she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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