I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
