8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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