He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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