PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
