so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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