They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize