you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
