Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
