I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
