that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
