should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
