does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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