It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
