She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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