I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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