I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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