There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
