What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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