Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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