yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
