i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
