TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
