Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize