i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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