mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
