We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Are my feet made of real feet?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
