mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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