Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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