I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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