So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
