Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
