yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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