yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize