She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
