I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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