I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
