I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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