Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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