My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
