the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
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I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
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You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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